Birthday

Hey everyone, today is my 30th birthday. To say that this is not how I imagined my thirtieth birthday to go would be an understatement. I know that many of you can relate to this feeling. Your thirtieth birthday is a bit of a landmark, you’re no longer the young adult in your twenties, learning who you are and trying to find your place in the world. You’re an Adult, supposedly. Many people by thirty have children, multiple ones! They may have a house (though in this economy!!!! not likely), a pet, a car, a career that they are committed to. It seems pretty typical, ideal even. I can’t say it’s a life that I have.

The pandemic brought me back to my mom’s house. I do have a car that I use to commute to a job that does not bring me joy. I spend hours applying to jobs that I so desperately want and feel a deep sadness when I don’t hear anything back. I have two cats that I love and also find annoying (they keep ruining my belongings). I’m nowhere near where I expected to be in my life by thirty. The future I had imagined as a child is so far gone and unattainable. Even 13 Going on 30’s iconic phrase of “thirty, flirty, and thriving” doesn’t fit my life. It’s a bit bleak.

However, I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that things will change. That my chance for the life I want will come. I’m fighting for the future I want, something I’ve been too scared to do in the past (thank you anxiety). Hopefully, I get there and I hope you get to where you want to be too.

Published by keelinrita

A Chicago girl with a lot of feelings about fictional people.

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